Seeing Through the Shadows and Reclaiming Your Reality

These past few weeks have been quite overwhelming for me, but I finally sense a moment of peace ahead. Have you experienced those periods when challenges keep appearing one after another, making it feel like there's no end in sight? It's like just when you believe you've overcome a hurdle, suddenly, you're faced with another wave of chaos to navigate through!

This has been my world for the past little bit.

And the funny thing is, almost all of it was ridiculous! None of it was necessary, yet the outcomes were incredibly time-consuming and irritating. There has been gaslighting and immature attempts to outdo each other, unnecessary rivalries, cyberbullying, strange denials, and blatant falsehoods.

Um…WHAT? ….Are we still 12?? …Is this for real???

So, here’s what I was reminded of when we are faced with people or situations that cause our blood to boil, our hearts to race, and our heads to shake.

“Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

This is NOT easy to remember or to embrace when you find yourself in the thick of certain chaos. But truly, there is no sense in trying to argue your point, even and especially when it is the truth, to people who refuse to think with rational, open minds. This is a lesson I learned years ago, as I was getting divorced from someone who always seemed to try to convince me I was wrong when I very clearly was not. Like, the grass is not, in fact, purple; it has never been and probably never will be, and I KNEW that - and yet, I found myself questioning if I was, indeed, seeing the colour accurately during certain conversations. I felt like I was losing my ever-loving mind.

Talk about exhausting!

Here’s what I know for sure, and what I have to keep trying to remember when I end up in a situational mental dance:

1. I don’t always need to make things right. 

I have such a fierce need for things to be ‘right’ and ‘fair,’ and if something is not, I constantly feel pulled to make whatever is unjust right side up and “just” again. Sometimes, you’ll never be able to do this, and you’ll drive yourself crazy trying to correct the moral compasses of some people. 

2. Good wins over Evil - most of the time - with or without my worrying.

Again, my sense of justice wants me to keep fighting for the ‘good’ in the world, even when it feels, and in fact, just may be, futile.  I am not the keeper of the World scores, so it helps to remember to trust the Universe and to let the battle go on around me, and know that things will sort themselves out the way they should ~ at least most of the time. 

3. I can only control so much.

Of all the things to focus on, or to spend my time and energy on, there is a whole ton of ‘stuff’ that shouldn’t make the list. I’m a queen of lists and to-do’s, and I really do know better (usually) than to try to take on the entirety of responsibilities outside my locus on control. It just makes me stressed and overwhelmed, and usually disappointed, if I try for all the rest. 

4. My best really is enough.

This is a really hard one, but it is such an important thing to believe. So many of us try to always be better, do better, say better, act better, “all the things” better. While I would never, ever discount self-improvement and personal growth and development, it can become a pretty slippery slope of defeat if we are always looking at the ways in which we aren’t ‘good enough.’ We are ALL inherently ENOUGH, just as we are, and constantly trying to kill ourselves for better or different or more will end badly for us. 

5. The people who matter will always be your people.

You know the phrase “Life is not a popularity contest?” It is so true! We try to teach our children this as they get older and start to deal with new people outside their supportive, inner circle. And yet, sometimes, as adults, we forget this too. Not everyone is going to like us. That is OK! Something I’ve been embracing this past year or so is the belief that those who want me will find me, and I will find them. There are people in the world who need me in their lives, and there are people in the world who I need to be in mine. The rest? Well, let someone else have them! Just be you and let your tribe come together! Your circle is a powerful symbol and measure of your worthiness, so live there.

“If you try to be for everyone, you will end up being for no one.” ~Michele Reyes

I’ve been digging deep this month with Forgiveness essential oils, deep breathing and guided meditation apps, searching out sunshine and listening to uplifting music, and creating focused lists of what’s important and necessary in my world. And it all makes a difference in the peace and happiness I want to surround myself with.

The light is returning around me, as is my renewal for working on keeping the noise out and the peace in. Life is too short to get wrapped up in the trash, so let’s all just remember to take a breath, believe in ourselves and what we know to be right and good and true, and let the rest go.

If you need anything, you know where to reach out ~ I will be the bottom hands to help hold you up until you are ready to do it for yourself. 

~Michelle

xoxo