How to Keep Your Mental Health Strong During Winter

January blues. Winter blahs. Grey days. Whatever you want to call them, they can seemingly suck the life energy out of you after all the holiday hoopla, and send your mental health into a tail spin. Many people hyper focus (or re-focus!) on physical health in January, what with all the "New Year - New You" stuff circulating through our feeds, but a key part of that is, in fact, our mental health.

The rational part of me says that we should be doing both. They both impact each other and our total package of health, but, as a constant mental health advocate with often limited, available energy resources

during this season that I hate, I will usually focus on my head and heart first, so that my body can follow when I'm not feeling so depleted. I guess this is why we make those dreaded resolutions?

I know, I know ~ resolutions are such a thing in January!! But I hate them, probably because I can't usually keep them going longer than 2 weeks, if I last even that long. So then I make excuses and I get disappointed in myself, then I pretend that I hadn't really wanted to do it anyway (to lessen the guilt), and THEN I swing my choice pendulum in the far, exact opposite direction in a demonstration of rebellion. At the end of the day, I find myself swimming in the same exact spot I was before, but feeling worse about it, and myself, than I did before I started. How freakin' pointless and exhausting is that??

So here's how we are ACTUALLY going to take care of ourselves - mentally, then hopefully physically - during Winter, so that we can come out the other side happier, healthier, and ready to take on whatever we meet ahead. I am, for sure, not a professional in this area, but I am someone who's done a lot work on and with myself, with said professionals guiding me. While I would guarantee there are many more things that could go on a list like this, these are 5 of my best (and not too overwhelming or exhausting to try) suggestions...in no particular order.

Tip #1 - Sleep Hygiene

I know you've heard it before, and it seems so obvious, and so annoyingly cliche, but hear me out. Sleep is so incredibly important to mood and if we aren't getting it, we always get told to look at our 'sleep hygiene.' The ideas here go beyond the basics you always hear: go to bed at the same time every night, keep your room cool, turn your electronics off an hour before bed, and whatever else makes sense.

I've struggled with good sleep for YEARS, though my difficulties were most pronounced after I very suddenly became a single mom to a 3 year old and 6 month old, during the month of January to boot! I couldn't fall asleep to save my life. If I woke up, I couldn't go back to sleep for all the tea in China. I didn't even want to try sleeping because it felt pointless and therefor seriously frustrating.I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than rest, but waking with a baby still eating in the night, a toddler still struggling with bad dreams and separation anxiety during a stressful time in our lives, AND trying to get on top of severe postpartum depression and anxiety, made for 'challenging' sleep hygiene, to say the least. Now I'm adding peri-menopause hormonal sleep issues to some of the above continued struggles 10 years later, and sleep and I still have to work to be friends.

Here are some things that have helped me TREMENDOUSLY when sleep eludes me:

1. Wear a sleep mask - preferably a weighted one - so that even if you can't or don't want to keep your eyes closed, it won't let light into your vision to further wake up your brain, and you are not being distracted by things around you when you are trying to shut everything off and out.

2. Play mediation apps so that even though your brain maybe wants to race with all the thoughts or worries, you can't help but start to dump them because hearing that calm, soothing, usually monotonous voice, starts to take over - especially if you try to put some focus on what you're hearing instead of what you want to be thinking. No word of a lie, there were nights I'd listen to the the same meditation 3 or 4 times in a row, just replaying each time it was over if I was still awake, until I fell asleep. Sometimes it just takes longer to clear your mind for sleep. A few I have used and love are iSleep Easy, Relax & Rest, and Headspace (found in your favourite App stores).

3. Use essential oils or calming linen sprays to help, again, with focusing your senses, and therefore your mind, on something other than the thoughts inside. I have a huge selection of Young Living essential oils that I rotate through (not just the typical "sleep oil" of Lavender, but also Peace and Calming, Joy, and Rutavala, as well as a few lovely spritzes I've found at different local markets too. Try a few until you find a couple that you love and that work for you, because not everyone will respond the same to the same smells. My daughter loves having her Citrus or Lemon oils close by when she's feeling anxious to calm her down, even though normally "they" say that those scents are invigorating and energizing. You won't know until you try.

Tip #2 - Skin Care/Self Care

I know this maybe doesn't seem like it fits, but I promise it makes a difference. When I am struggling with my mental health, especially in the winter, one of the first things to go is looking after myself physically. Like I actually stop doing my hair (messy bun, anyone?), shaving my legs (who cares, they are hidden in my fleece onesie anyway!), and even washing my face most days (don't judge, it just feels too hard sometimes). Those all seem like BIG jobs that take a lot of effort, and if I'm fighting a 'mood', I don't want or seem to have energy to put into myself. Anyone else understand or go through that?

In a bad headspace, you can easily start to put yourself down, to pick yourself apart for all the things you see (or don't see) that you don't like, and to start beating yourself up for flaws that may or may not even exist, but feel glaring to you. When I'm feeling funky, I usually can't find it in me to do much about much, but I have realized over the years that if I can choose to dedicate 5-10 minutes to my myself, to my skin, every night before bed (regardless if that is 8pm or 3am) - I sleep better (yahoo!) and my mood lifts a bit, even if only for a while until I can do the next "feel better thing". The extra bonus is that during these winter months, your skin is craving it just as much as your brain will benefit from it! I obviously use Seint skin care a lot ~ if you haven't tried it, you should, but I'm not gonna be picky. Just use something.

• Cleanse your face, massaging as you go, to begin relaxing tense face muscles and feeling the power of touch (even if it is your own).

• Tone with a cotton pad and feel the little tingles to remind you that there is life on your face.

• Moisturize your skin with something deliciously hydrating and soothing and feel how soft your skin loves to be.

• Lock all that in with a serum or oil over top (Vaseline will even work if you've got nothing else!) to make sure that the magic happens while you're sleeping and your skin wakes up happy in the morning.

"Skincare is one of the best ways to afford tranquillity and peace for your mind, body and soul. This is because the art of pampering your skin centers your energy and focus towards your upliftment, and that is what radiates through your skin." – The Art of Ayurvada

Tip #3 - Self-Talk

Ok, ok, I know you may think this is hokey, and I did too. Until I tried it - actually and honestly. You know the phrase 'fake it til you make it?" I don't particularly care for that expression because I don't believe in 'faking' or not truly honouring myself by acting one way when I don't authentically feel or believe it. BUT! The way I look at it is this: I'm not lying when I say nice things to myself or about myself. I may not believe them or see them at that very moment, but it doesn't mean those things aren't true. If I stand in front of the mirror (or sit, if I'm killing time in my car and using the rearview), I can find things that someone else would compliment me on and say them to myself.

I am worthy. I am brave. I am trustworthy. I am courageous. I am a good mom.

I am creative. I am a good reader. I care about my friends and family. I do my best.

I don't give up.

See how that goes? I'm not blowing sunshine up my you-know-what; I'm not exaggerating some ridiculous trait that feels fake. I'm actually thinking about the things that the people who love me have said to me, or would say if I was sitting with them that day. The things those people who care would want me to remember and believe.

And then, sooner or later, I just may start to believe those things and more, in my own heart, and that's something that no one can take away, and can help you through the next rough mental health day.

Tip #4 - Connections

Sometimes the last thing I have/want/can think or worry about is making or keeping connections when my mental health feels so overwhelming. And yet, that is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself when you're feeing less than fab. Remember above when I told you to talk to yourself like someone who cares about you would? Well, it makes sense then that having that person actually talking with you would be even more helpful.

What I know for me, is that the hardest part of this is taking the first step and reaching out. Even responding, if someone else reaches out to me, feels tricky. Most of us do not: A. want to admit we are not ok; B. want to ask for help; C. be a 'burden' or a 'downer,' or D. even know how to find a way to start the hard conversation, especially if we've been isolating or quiet for awhile, and 'catching someone up' on what's really going on feels daunting and scary, and seriously not worth it.

The best thing I can tell you is that it really isn't easy, but the people who love you love you no matter what, and they want to know if you are not ok. They may not know what to say or do, and that's ok - they don't need to. Just being able to reach out to ANYONE in your circle, for help to deal or try to fix it, or just simply just to have a chat about something completely different so you can try to take your mind off things and focus on something other than your own self...that's the thing you really need. Even when your brain is telling you to close the curtains and not send that text back. Do it anyway, and be prepared to feel some care coming at you.

Tip #5 - JOY!

Something I want to encourage is for you to FIND something that brings you joy, and DO IT! No, I'm not crazy. Yes, I know what that sounds like. If I'm struggling with my mental health, I am struggling with JOY too, obviously. Well, yes and no...

A couple of years ago I was taken off work and put on a medical leave by my family doctor. I had a lot going on and I just figured I needed more meds and to try to 'be better' (that's another topic for another day - meds can absolutely be part of your plan, but they also may not be...that's between you and your doctor, and my experiences with medication is only mine). I wasn't sleeping (again), my now fiance (then boyfriend) had just been diagnosed with cancer, and was facing a grueling, moderately aggressive 2 year treatment plan to fight it, we had just gotten a new and very needy puppy, who didn't know the difference between day and night, we had moved out of our house temporarily as we renovated our entire main floor, my dad had started going in and out of hospital fairly frequently, and my daughter needed support to work through some of her own struggles. My blood pressure was stupid high, my body was vibrating, I was crying uncontrollably in her office, and she just looked at me and said: "You need to have something taken off your plate to help you manage and get better because this is too much."

While I was on leave, I did all the things I was supposed to. I had bi-weekly sessions with my psychologist, I was being checked on every 2-3 weeks by my family doctor, I was working on my nutrition and sleep hygiene and was just trying to 'relax.'

I had also happened to have my Seint makeup biz. While I was doing all those 'medical' things, I was also sometimes putting on makeup, making videos, and doing live demos for others of me putting on makeup. I forced myself to dress and shower and do my hair some days so that my makeup didn't look weird against the rest of my haggard self lol, and I laughed a lot, talked a lot to different women and friends, and I had fun with the girls on my team. This was giving me some purpose that was joyful (as well as those connections we need!), and that was helping me find normalcy and to fight harder to be mentally healthier.

Until....

I got a call from my Health Advisor, who told me, rather sheepishly, that there had been a complaint brought up by someone, who knew I was on a leave, and was concerned about the fact that I was 'too sick' to work but then wondering why I wasn't 'too sick' to play with makeup and run my little side gig. There is a long story attached to this, but basically I was told that it didn't "look good" that I was on leave from work and still doing Seint, and I should consider the 'optics.'

I had then, and still have now, a lot of choice words about that whole situation. But I'll be short, and simply say that my doctor and my therapist BOTH knew what I was doing, and in fact, ENCOURAGED it - because if you are anxious and depressed, doing things that bring you joy and peace and happiness are EXACTLY what you need to be doing to fight those things off. I was made to feel embarrassed and shamed that I was finding ways and times to smile and feel good, while I was supposed to be feeling so bad, and yet also working on feeling good. What?! I guess some people out there think there are acceptable and unacceptable ways to get better. I will forever and ever shout it out, that if you are struggling with joy, you need to find and do things that create MORE of it for you. Without apology.

Maybe that's a book club. Maybe that's a cooking class. Maybe that's scrapbooking. Maybe that's a coffee date with some girlfriends every Tuesday night after the kids go to bed (look, connection making being done too!) Maybe it's a little side business that helps you enjoy a new hobby and brings you some happiness on some of those dark days. It doesn't matter what it is.

Just. Do. What. Makes. You. Happy.

Find your joy and live it, however and whenever you can, in whatever way makes sense for you. No judgement here. I get it, and I got your back.

So what will you choose to do today?

Taking care of your mental health, especially during those hardest, coldest months, is so beneficial to so many parts of your life. I will always believe that its the most important thing you can do for yourself, and the best showing of love you can give to the people you care about. You cannot pour from an empty cup. No question about it. I hope you will never again think that it is selfish to take care of you ~ its exactly the opposite, and you are worth it.

Tell me one thing you do to help take care of your mental health in the winter. Let's keep the conversation and collaboration going, for all our sakes.

~ Michelle xoxo